What is enough?

At work, we are in the last quarter of the fiscal year, and are in the heat of finalizing the next fiscal year’s budget. The worldwide financial turmoil is only making the budgeting exercise more challenging than ever. It is not surprising that we need to tighten up our belt to ride through the situation. While working with leaner and stringent constraints, I see something good can be emerged out from it. Working with limitations and constraints forces us to look for waste cycles to improve efficiency, compels us to be creative in solutions, and encourages us to share resources to reduce overheads. As I have brought it up to some of the management, “even if we were given more, there would still be limits.” At the end of the day, what is enough? The best I want to see is that we all can be more accountable—to our shareholders who have invested on us, to our colleague who have given up some convenience and resources for the greater good, to our own conscience, and ultimately, to God.

There was a business opportunity that might help me raise my own support while I am in full-time ministry. I am deeply in debt to even the thought of the offer driven by love. However, I had to pass it, knowing that I would likely become conceited. I am still in my sinful fresh that constraints and accountability are actually do me good. Thus, I willfully want to be held accountable to the church, communities and those who love me. There will be challenges to manage multiple “bosses” and expectations of many “stakeholders”. But my great example is the Son giving up his flexibility, power, wealth and glory to become man with many limitations. In faith, I trust “the boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places.” (Ps 16:6)

Seeing beyond

Often, I would wonder, "What's God's will for me?" I would pray, seek, look for guidance, identify confirmation etc etc. At times, "me" can be a big deal--"what's God's will for ME?"

Last Sunday, Sherman shared a chapter from Experiencing God: Knowing and Doing the Will of God by Blackaby and King. In it, there is a paragraph:

At the time God was about to deliver the children of Israel, the important factor was not what the will of God was for Moses. The important factor was what the will of God was for Israel. God was at work with Israel, and He was preparing to bring Moses into the mainstream of His activity. (p.53)

What a reminder! God's will is not about just me. God's will is beyond any individual and yet encompassing all of us whom He loves so much that He sent His only son to die for us. While He is preparing me, He is also orchestrating the others and environment to accomplish His plan according to His good pleasure. Lord, open my eyes to see your awesome work in the grand scheme of things, and engrave me to the mainstream of your activity and plan.

Enligthenment from Evan Almighty

Thanks to Alex who tactfully made me watch the movie. Here are some interesting conversations:

(G)od: I love that story, Noah and the Ark. You know, a lot of people miss the point of that story. They think about God's wrath and anger. They love it when God gets angry.

(W)oman: What is the story about, then? The ark?

G: Well, I think it's a love story about believing in each other. You know, the animals showed up in pairs. They stood by each other, side by side, just like Noah and his family. Everybody entered the ark side by side.

W: But my husband said God told him to do it. What do you do with that?

G: Sounds like an opportunity.

(W looked puzzled.)

G: Let me ask you something. If someone prays for patience, you think God gives them patience? Or, does he give them opportunity to be patient? If they pray for courage, does God give them courage, or does he give them opportunities to be courageous? If some prayed for their family to be closer, you think God zaps them with warm, fuzzy feelings? Or does he give them opportunities to love each other?

(W gasped quietly)

G: Well, I got to run. A lot of people to serve. Enjoy. (G disappeared among the people in the restaurant)

Earlier on here is a conversation between Evan and his wife:

W: ...And Jordan is very precise. He prayed for good visibility, good weather on the hiking trip tomorrow.

(E)van: The hiking trip? Oh, right. Yeah, the hiking trip. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

W: You wanna know what I prayed for.

E: Yeah. What did you pray for?

W: I prayed we would become closer as a family.

E: Honey, you don't need to pray for that to happen. I will make that happen.

W: What would you pray for?

E: Me? I don't know. Praying just...

W: Honey, you are the one who said you wanted to change the world. It's a pretty big job. If it were me, I would take all the help I could get.

Hope of a watchman

What is it like to wait for the sun rise in the dark silent night? And, who would and why would they wait for the morning? What is more certain to happen as a day-break to a watchman waiting in the dark?

Yesterday's worship at "Yung Fok" was a divine moment. God spoke as soon as we were called to worship from Psalm 130:5-6:

5 I wait for the LORD, my soul waits,
and in his word I put my hope.
6 My soul waits for the Lord
more than watchmen wait for the morning,
more than watchmen wait for the morning.

God's greatness continued to expand that I couldn't sing but were afraid tears would pour out if I opened my mouth. To God be the glory and praise.

Our times are in your hands

It will be hard to not missing Robert. Ever since he has been confirmed his cancer has recurred, I have been praying his remaining times on earth will be easy and blessed, and his departure will be painless...like what he has said, "It is a blessing to die in a sleep."

Last night, it raised an alarm to us as he mentioned Dr Chan has scheduled numerous tests for him to diagnose the cause of his lose of 10 lbs in 3 months. Am I not worry for him and Diana who is so used to be with Robert for the last 44+ years? Haven't I ever wondered and blamed the urologist has not been doing anything since a year ago when the sign of recurring was first shown?

A song based on Psalm 31 came to me this morning,

14 But I trust in you, O LORD;
I say, "You are my God."
15 My times are in your hands;
deliver me from my enemies
and from those who pursue me.
16 Let your face shine on your servant;
save me in your unfailing love.
...
21 Praise be to the LORD,
for he showed his wonderful love to me
when I was in a besieged city.

Our times are in His hands. We trust everything is in God's hands.

Better than plan

When I was about to graduate from the EMBA program in the summer of 2005, SFU's MBA programs was accredited by CMA, and their graduates are eligible for enrolling to the accelerated CMA designation program. To enroll to the program and obtaining the designation in one year after graduation, the student has to meet certain academic qualification and successfully complete a strategy analysis project in the following spring.

Taking advantage of the opportunity, I applied to the program. CMA enrolled me in, and sent me application to register to a strategy analysis project that started in January 2006. However, the mail was lost among the pile accumulated and neglected from the busy schedule and excitement of preparing for my brother's wedding. When I came back from the wedding trip, it was too late to get myself in no matter how hard I tried. I prayed to God that it was a hard lesson to learn with letting the opportunity slipping by.

Months ago, I read a marketing email from CMA. After a few serious inquiries, I was considered to be admitted to their executive program which costs 5 digit $ value to study the subjects that I have already learned in the EMBA program. Yet, because CMA made a mistake on my mailing address, I didn't receive the letter in time to enroll to their executive program. To make up the mistake they have made and "deprived" me from enrolling to the program, I was allowed to be back on the original accelerated program track provided I would re-do an Operation Management course elsewhere (I didn't do well in that last time). It costs me just over $600.

Looking back, I am amazed by how all these fall out and how God has graciously lead me through to this step. Year 2006 was so eventful and stressful that I would not be able to complete the CMA requirements even if I was enrolled to the strategy project--I was promoted to be at director level; parents were both admitted to hospital in Hong Kong, and dad was in a critical condition that I had to go back again after barely four weeks later; mom had a total hip replacement operation later in the summer; there was an significant organizational change at work, and by spring 2007, 80% of my project management team were hired less than a year ago.

If I were to plan out this pursuit of CMA designation, it would have stressed me out completely by not doing it at the right timing. God knew what laid ahead of me and what lessons I should learn at differnt times. He has humbled me by opening my eyes to see His hands at work even the trivial mailing things were His accomplishing tools. At this, I can't but praise God for who He is:

For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways.
As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts. (Isaiah 55:8,9)

The first bend of the Yangtze River

To be continued...