My five loaves and two small fish, Lord

Recently, the People's Republic of China captured the world by its glamorous display during the celebration of its 60th anniversary. In the past six decades, China has dramatically transformed from a traumatized and alienated country into the world’s third largest economy after the U.S. and Japan. Despite this prosperous front, there is a missing link. This is evident in the rising social and family issues. In rural areas, many Chinese and minority people are still suffering from poverty, hardship, pain and disappointment. They need someone to show them they care—not just in words, but also through action—serving them in Christ’s sacrificial love.

Dr. James Hudson Taylor III, Dr. Reginald Tsang and Mr. Richard Chen saw these opportunities to serve the people in China. They sought to fulfill the goal and spirit of “Serving the People” from the true source of love and life—Jesus. After years of seeking understanding and planning with the government, Medical Service International (MSI) was founded in 1994 upon signing the memo of understanding. MSI later changed to MSI Professional Services in 2001 to reflect the increasing scope of work to also include community development, English education, business administration and management training, youth work, and livestock projects. The need was and is still great. We are racing against time with this strategy. God has His plan, and we trust Him, but we also have responsibility to submit and be obedient to His leading.

My link to MSI goes back to days when I was still a non-believer living in Australia. On one Saturday in 1986, I went to two church meetings where Dr. James Hudson Taylor III was the speaker. I was much challenged and stirred by the messages and testimonies. God has sowed two seeds in my heart that day—a salvation seed and a mission seed. After I have dedicated my life to serve him full-time a year later, I sought to study at a seminary. However, God knew it well my impure motives and false pride that stirred me to attend seminary. He revealed this to me, and I knew it did not please God. Knowing this, I did not start the theological program into which I was admitted. Through mistakes and life lessons, God has showed me that there is no such thing as secular job or wasted time if we let God be where we are and in what we are doing. A non-church job is just as holy as a church job.

With this newfound revelation, I went back to engineering in various capacities and companies with increasing responsibilities in management. Through training and credentials, I am an engineer, analyst, strategist, administrator, manager and maybe a leader. I enjoy what I am doing at work. I have found a vocation to which God calls me. Like the Olympics gold medalist Eric Liddell once said, “I believe God made me for a purpose, but he also made me fast. And when I run I feel His pleasure.” When I analyze a situation and as a result, implement a change in organization that puts it to the right course, I feel God’s pleasure.

By God’s grace and with much trembling, I feel called to join MSI as their Director of Management Operations at the headquarters in Hong Kong. My responsibilities will include assisting MSI leaders in managing organizational changes and development, and helping the development of the business administration and management programs. China is on a roll. We need to stay on its pulse to develop suitable programs and ministries, and to mobilize Christian professionals from different parts of the world to serve the marginalized people in China. Thus, I will constantly be working in collaboration with various partners, local governments, leaders and communities.

Dr. James Hudson Taylor I once said, “If the five loaves and two fish were to keep in the pocket, they would still have been the five loaves and two fish. Yet, when they were offered up to God, they had fed more than 5,000 and had left 12 baskets of remains.” When I first heard of this quotation, I thought to myself, “It is the best investment one can ever make.” Since then, I often ask myself how I return the goodness the Lord has given me (Psalm 116:12-14). I am thrilled to see that as I offer my little bit to Him, God is miraculously multiplying and pouring out blessings. Lord, here are my five loaves and two small fish; may they be in your hands for the blessing of others.

A Second Touch

As I was preparing a sermon lately, I came across this blog: “Why did Jesus have to heal the Blind Man Twice in Mark 8?” I never questioned about Jesus’ ability to heal the man perfectly in his first touch. But I wasn’t sure what point he was trying to make by having the second touch on the blind man. Ched Spellman explains that the second touch was for the disciples, for us—to tell us that just as the sight of the blind could have been restored at the first touch, but the blind man still needed the multi-stage of healing to see. Similarly, though Jesus once clearly demonstrated who he was in his work, the disciples could only gradually accept the fact through repeatedly experiencing miracles.

It is certainly very true in my life lately. I thought I have learned the lesson of provision when I was at Regent and in some difficult years when my family ran into financial crisis. Apparently, I was wrong. My past experiences told me God’s provision came through unexpected way and way that I might not like. But, I was still taken back to find out a missionary friend is giving for me. Once again, God is showing me His sovereignty and that I should not limit His provision to what I accept as reasonable. For God and my friends, many are already giving much for His kingdom, I will also give my best and follow their examples. I think I slowly understand this partnership development is becoming a very important part of my life.

Prequel to Saving Private Ryan

On the way back home last Saturday, Austin was singing happily the song “I am in Lord’s army” along with his brother Anson in the car. It was such a joy to hear the children sing. Their mom casually commented while driving, “It is quite strange to hear this kid, not yet two, saying he is in Lord’s army. Image him in the Lord’s army.”

If I were the Lord, I would take him in! I didn’t need him to fight; I would fight for him. He just needed to be willing to be in, as he would be the very reason for me to fight. There and then I started to realize what God was trying to tell us when He said He would fight for us. Who are we that fit to be in His celestial army? To animate it, we would be just as childish, feeble and untrained to Him as Austin to the adults. If we are encouraged and proud for the kids making the bold steps out, I trust God will all the more feel the same way when we make every attempt to please Him and take each step of faith for Him. At that moment, I almost could see the Lord smiling as the kids singing louder and louder, “Ai-m-e-laws-ah-me, yea-s-sir! Ai-m-ei-laws-ah-me….”

Will you be my "George"?

As I was reading the book Hudson Taylor's Spiritual Secret, I have noted this important person in Taylor's life and in the CIM ministry. I have been praying to God for sending a similar person in my life too. (No, no, not a spouse.) In term of worldly possession, he was described as one "with no more resources than the birds of the air or lilies of the field". Yet, on George Muller's shoulder, there were two thousand orphan children to support. All the challenges in life didn't stop him from praying for the people and work in China. In one of his letters to Hudson Taylor, George wrote:

"My chief objective is to tell you that I love you in the Lord; that I feel deeply interested about the Lord's work in China, and that I pray daily for you. I thought it might be a little encouragement to you in your difficulties, trials, hardships, and disappointments to hear of one more who feels for you and who remembers you before the Lord. But were it otherwise, had you even no one to care for you--or did you at least seem to be in a position as if no one cared for you--you will always have the Lord to be with you. Remember Paul's case at Rome (2 Tim. 4:16-18)." (p.170)

I am both excited and anxious about the future. I know that only with prayers and submission to His guidance would anything meaningful be accomplished. I would like to invite you be "George" in my life. Would you please pray about sharing this journey of faith with me together.

What is enough?

At work, we are in the last quarter of the fiscal year, and are in the heat of finalizing the next fiscal year’s budget. The worldwide financial turmoil is only making the budgeting exercise more challenging than ever. It is not surprising that we need to tighten up our belt to ride through the situation. While working with leaner and stringent constraints, I see something good can be emerged out from it. Working with limitations and constraints forces us to look for waste cycles to improve efficiency, compels us to be creative in solutions, and encourages us to share resources to reduce overheads. As I have brought it up to some of the management, “even if we were given more, there would still be limits.” At the end of the day, what is enough? The best I want to see is that we all can be more accountable—to our shareholders who have invested on us, to our colleague who have given up some convenience and resources for the greater good, to our own conscience, and ultimately, to God.

There was a business opportunity that might help me raise my own support while I am in full-time ministry. I am deeply in debt to even the thought of the offer driven by love. However, I had to pass it, knowing that I would likely become conceited. I am still in my sinful fresh that constraints and accountability are actually do me good. Thus, I willfully want to be held accountable to the church, communities and those who love me. There will be challenges to manage multiple “bosses” and expectations of many “stakeholders”. But my great example is the Son giving up his flexibility, power, wealth and glory to become man with many limitations. In faith, I trust “the boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places.” (Ps 16:6)

Seeing beyond

Often, I would wonder, "What's God's will for me?" I would pray, seek, look for guidance, identify confirmation etc etc. At times, "me" can be a big deal--"what's God's will for ME?"

Last Sunday, Sherman shared a chapter from Experiencing God: Knowing and Doing the Will of God by Blackaby and King. In it, there is a paragraph:

At the time God was about to deliver the children of Israel, the important factor was not what the will of God was for Moses. The important factor was what the will of God was for Israel. God was at work with Israel, and He was preparing to bring Moses into the mainstream of His activity. (p.53)

What a reminder! God's will is not about just me. God's will is beyond any individual and yet encompassing all of us whom He loves so much that He sent His only son to die for us. While He is preparing me, He is also orchestrating the others and environment to accomplish His plan according to His good pleasure. Lord, open my eyes to see your awesome work in the grand scheme of things, and engrave me to the mainstream of your activity and plan.

Enligthenment from Evan Almighty

Thanks to Alex who tactfully made me watch the movie. Here are some interesting conversations:

(G)od: I love that story, Noah and the Ark. You know, a lot of people miss the point of that story. They think about God's wrath and anger. They love it when God gets angry.

(W)oman: What is the story about, then? The ark?

G: Well, I think it's a love story about believing in each other. You know, the animals showed up in pairs. They stood by each other, side by side, just like Noah and his family. Everybody entered the ark side by side.

W: But my husband said God told him to do it. What do you do with that?

G: Sounds like an opportunity.

(W looked puzzled.)

G: Let me ask you something. If someone prays for patience, you think God gives them patience? Or, does he give them opportunity to be patient? If they pray for courage, does God give them courage, or does he give them opportunities to be courageous? If some prayed for their family to be closer, you think God zaps them with warm, fuzzy feelings? Or does he give them opportunities to love each other?

(W gasped quietly)

G: Well, I got to run. A lot of people to serve. Enjoy. (G disappeared among the people in the restaurant)

Earlier on here is a conversation between Evan and his wife:

W: ...And Jordan is very precise. He prayed for good visibility, good weather on the hiking trip tomorrow.

(E)van: The hiking trip? Oh, right. Yeah, the hiking trip. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

W: You wanna know what I prayed for.

E: Yeah. What did you pray for?

W: I prayed we would become closer as a family.

E: Honey, you don't need to pray for that to happen. I will make that happen.

W: What would you pray for?

E: Me? I don't know. Praying just...

W: Honey, you are the one who said you wanted to change the world. It's a pretty big job. If it were me, I would take all the help I could get.

Hope of a watchman

What is it like to wait for the sun rise in the dark silent night? And, who would and why would they wait for the morning? What is more certain to happen as a day-break to a watchman waiting in the dark?

Yesterday's worship at "Yung Fok" was a divine moment. God spoke as soon as we were called to worship from Psalm 130:5-6:

5 I wait for the LORD, my soul waits,
and in his word I put my hope.
6 My soul waits for the Lord
more than watchmen wait for the morning,
more than watchmen wait for the morning.

God's greatness continued to expand that I couldn't sing but were afraid tears would pour out if I opened my mouth. To God be the glory and praise.

Our times are in your hands

It will be hard to not missing Robert. Ever since he has been confirmed his cancer has recurred, I have been praying his remaining times on earth will be easy and blessed, and his departure will be painless...like what he has said, "It is a blessing to die in a sleep."

Last night, it raised an alarm to us as he mentioned Dr Chan has scheduled numerous tests for him to diagnose the cause of his lose of 10 lbs in 3 months. Am I not worry for him and Diana who is so used to be with Robert for the last 44+ years? Haven't I ever wondered and blamed the urologist has not been doing anything since a year ago when the sign of recurring was first shown?

A song based on Psalm 31 came to me this morning,

14 But I trust in you, O LORD;
I say, "You are my God."
15 My times are in your hands;
deliver me from my enemies
and from those who pursue me.
16 Let your face shine on your servant;
save me in your unfailing love.
...
21 Praise be to the LORD,
for he showed his wonderful love to me
when I was in a besieged city.

Our times are in His hands. We trust everything is in God's hands.

Better than plan

When I was about to graduate from the EMBA program in the summer of 2005, SFU's MBA programs was accredited by CMA, and their graduates are eligible for enrolling to the accelerated CMA designation program. To enroll to the program and obtaining the designation in one year after graduation, the student has to meet certain academic qualification and successfully complete a strategy analysis project in the following spring.

Taking advantage of the opportunity, I applied to the program. CMA enrolled me in, and sent me application to register to a strategy analysis project that started in January 2006. However, the mail was lost among the pile accumulated and neglected from the busy schedule and excitement of preparing for my brother's wedding. When I came back from the wedding trip, it was too late to get myself in no matter how hard I tried. I prayed to God that it was a hard lesson to learn with letting the opportunity slipping by.

Months ago, I read a marketing email from CMA. After a few serious inquiries, I was considered to be admitted to their executive program which costs 5 digit $ value to study the subjects that I have already learned in the EMBA program. Yet, because CMA made a mistake on my mailing address, I didn't receive the letter in time to enroll to their executive program. To make up the mistake they have made and "deprived" me from enrolling to the program, I was allowed to be back on the original accelerated program track provided I would re-do an Operation Management course elsewhere (I didn't do well in that last time). It costs me just over $600.

Looking back, I am amazed by how all these fall out and how God has graciously lead me through to this step. Year 2006 was so eventful and stressful that I would not be able to complete the CMA requirements even if I was enrolled to the strategy project--I was promoted to be at director level; parents were both admitted to hospital in Hong Kong, and dad was in a critical condition that I had to go back again after barely four weeks later; mom had a total hip replacement operation later in the summer; there was an significant organizational change at work, and by spring 2007, 80% of my project management team were hired less than a year ago.

If I were to plan out this pursuit of CMA designation, it would have stressed me out completely by not doing it at the right timing. God knew what laid ahead of me and what lessons I should learn at differnt times. He has humbled me by opening my eyes to see His hands at work even the trivial mailing things were His accomplishing tools. At this, I can't but praise God for who He is:

For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways.
As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts. (Isaiah 55:8,9)

The first bend of the Yangtze River

To be continued...

Many rooms

Knowing that mom would have a complete hip replacement after parents coming back to Vancouver in March, I knew the need for adding a bathroom has become imminent. Dad has long indicated the need for an additional bathroom due to his prostate condition.

The renovation project started November last year, and there are still a few things to be finished off. The project has given me a lot of stress from negotiating with the contractors, to shopping for materials, to checking the budgets, and to making a place to retire at night. However, seeing the house got better each day, and knowing parents would be coming back to a more comfortable home makes the fuss payoff.

Just when the project coming to an end, the news came to Vancouver that both of my parents were admitted to a hospital in Hong Kong, and dad was in a critical condition. There and then I agonized over their health condition, and said to myself, “If dad and mom were unable to come back, why would I renovate the house? Dad, mom, come home! I have prepared a nicer home for you to come back. We have many rooms here.”

Jesus once said this to comfort his disciples when he was about to die on the cross, “Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. In my Father’s house are many rooms…. I am going there to prepare a place for you…. I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.” (John 14:1-3)

It would be a shame and loss to me if my parents would not come back home that I have prepared for them. Likewise, Jesus will feel very sad if any of us unable to enjoy the place he has prepared for us by rejecting his invitation and love. Do you have a room in Jesus? Do you know it will be a great loss to you and him if you don’t?